#y'all just don't like the snakes that feel weird admit it

[omg-snakes]

I have a snake question (snestion)! Are you breeding towards a specific Morph Combo that you want to be consistently producing, or are you spreading out, aiming for variety?

Ooohhh that's a good snestion and one I've been asking myself a lot lately.

I was originally looking at variety, hoping to explore multiple morphs and hit a wider customer base, but I realize now that it's better for me to be a specialist in a narrow range of morphs that genuinely interest me. That said, I am still exploring a few things. Here's where I'm focused:

How Peach interacts with Palmetto, Charcoal, and Anery

What in the world Hatshepsut's red-enhancing gene is and if it's RF or maybe even Peach this whole time

Revitalization of the Sunglow morph and maybe a revamp with inclusion of Tessera

Very Obnoxiously Pink Snake

Something something Moonstone

I have a couple of het Scaleless snakes still, and I think I'll prove them next year before I go making any firm decisions about where to go from there. I know that Scaleless is a controversial morph, but as long as they have belly scales I really don't see it as any more deleterious than Snow, which removes eye pigment and makes snakes much more sensitive to light and possibly functionally blind... But of course nobody's calling THAT "unethical..." 🤔

Also scaleless adult snakes are found occasionally in the wild so it's clearly not a fitness-reducing trait.

Aaaanyway I've been rehoming a good number of my adults and holdbacks and reconsidering what I really want out of this hobby. Currently it's not sparking much joy, if you get what I'm saying.

If the recent trends continue, I may be forced to downsize further or get out completely and just keep my favorites as pets.

[for-a-longlongtime]

Songs and musings in the Key of Peña-Rockford

(Those gun holsters have me all fucked up. Seriously.)

I warned y'all about how obsessive my hyperfocus can get, right? Damn ADHD. The choke hold (all the puns intended) that this fic idea has on me is unreal, haha. But all of your comments and encouragements about this Rockford Pena WIP are making me so happy and relieving some of the stress I feel about writing it - thank you! I don't have another snippet to share just yet (so I hope this post isn't too much of a cock tease), but since I always love to read about character thots and writing processes (e.g. the extra posts by @mysterious-moonstruck-musings about her Destiny & Deliverance series, and @gracieispunk with her White Lotus posts), I figured I'd post a little update with some musings and songs I'm associating with this fic.

My Spotify currently is curated by @sin-djarin, who somehow knew just the right songs that relate to this WIP. Particularly these three tracks are on constant repeat. Going back and forth with her about little things that come up, or question ‘why this and not’ has been so much fun really. It makes me giddy because it turns the fic into something collaborative rather than just something from the inside of my brain, you know?

Whisper - Morphine

I included this track the other day already with the WIP snippet; it’s sexy and slow and that bass line really gets to me, then the saxophone ups it even more. @sin-djarin sent me several Morphine songs (I have to admit that somehow I wasn’t familiar with them) but this one stands out. The push and pull that’s happening in the lyrics is also delicious, and a lot of it feels like it’s coming from Rockford’s POV about Javi - that’s all I’ll say about it for now.

A Perfect Twist - Mike Patton

This song has an exuberant, rather bombastic vibe to it that I would’ve never associated with anything related to Peña. Although, those lyrics... they are definitely about brat taming.

I'll bend you over my knee Let's see what you can take You're never gonna break

And I'll squeeze that noose a little tighter Breathing like a snake How much can you take? You're never gonna break

And I'll turn those screws a little tighter You can hardly wait You're never gonna break

Just one more twist of the pliers Got you on the brink How much can you take? You're never gonna break

There’s something about the dizzying tune and pace that somehow evokes the noir-like Rockford vibes in the Merge Mansion clips, laced with liquor and cigarette smoke and things spinning kinda out of control.

Wait who said Masquerade Mansion? 🎭

In relation to these two?

Shhhh let’s pretend you didn’t see that. Keep your eyes wide shut. 🎭

Broad Daylight - Gabriel Rios

This is the only song that suddenly came to me re: this fic, and I was all… the fuck is this. I like the song, it's catchy, but it just didn’t make any sense to me with regard to Javi and Tim. The only thing I could think of in relation to the track was maybe a vague reference of Peña getting caught up with Los Pepes, things that were done in the dark and shouldn't come out in the daylight:

Back in the old days, tight like a fight Used to hang with the devil in the broad daylight

But still, it puzzled me. I think something in one of the Morphine songs musically led me to Broad Daylight, weird as that may sound. After way too many replays of that song (and @sin-djarin joking about 'what are those Polaroids Tim has on Javi?', since the song mentions polaroids), the relevance of the song finally clicked with me;

Look at you shaking you can't find his plight Got you scared of ghosts in the dead of night While you're making up stories trying to make it ok He'll be bringing them in to let them out and play In the broad daylight

We'll see how it goes from there.

At some point, there's also going to be a bit of Marcus Pike in the fic (pancakes!). I have to be honest - I don’t really read a lot of Marcus!fic, so I’ve been trying to figure out how he fits in and some of his character traits etc. But the wonderful @secretelephanttattoo was very quick to offer me some insights about Marcus that I needed! Go read it here.

TBH, I had absolutely not planned to write anything about Peña any time soon, because why I love him in canon and in the many fics I've read, I didn't exactly feel like I had a good enough handle on writing something about him that has some plot rather than just fucking. But then this fic idea popped up. If there's anyone who knows him really well, it's @goodwithcheese (you'd better be reading her incredible new story Paranoid Heart about Javi!). So I dropped some questions and fortunately she was totally up for some character chat right here, which is really helping me figure out some things. Thank you babe, and I hope more people will contribute thots to your 1K Celebration Confessional about their sins!

Also, I've been trying to put a time and place to the fic, but I've decided to not get too hung up about that because it's really not literature but Fic/Porn With Plot. It doesn't all have to make sense. But in case you're curious, I'm leaning towards this taking place in the US in recent enough times that smartphones are a thing.

Age wise, I'm seeing Tim Rockford as being 48/50 years old probably. Javier is about 40, 41 years old - just to give you an idea of 'which Javi' I'm looking at, I've got a sense of him as he is in Narcos S2 around episode 4-9, after Carillo is murdered, and Berna takes him to see Judy Moncada.

Reader insert (I know, I haven't spoken a lot about her yet!) is probably about 40 years old too. And finally, Marcus Pike is give r take about 37 years old, which corresponds with his Mentalist appearance.

BTW, I came across an edit that had all of the Tim Rockford bits from the ads without the additional stuff. A whopping total of 48 seconds. Man, I hope that Pedro is aware of how fucked up he has us about Rockford with less than a minute of his acting. Even my wife said 'I would totally watch a show or movie based on this character' when I played the Merge Mansion ads for her.

Finally, here's a video of Pedro talking about "real fantasy fullfillment in terms of getting to immerse yourself in an experience" and how he "loves being a detective, that's fantasy fullfilment for me" re: the Merge Mansion event day.

*hits replay*

Say 'fantasy fullfillment' one more time? Respectfully.

Like I said, I hope he knows how fucked up he has us all about Rockford. I sure am glad he did these ads and whatever he got paid, it sure wasn't enough.

---------------------------------------------------------

Updated tag list (comment if you want to be added, or if I added you by accident!) based on folks who commented/reblogged on the prev posts:

@sin-djarin @legendary-pink-dot @imalrightllama @secretelephanttattoo @rhoorl @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @trulybetty @goodwithcheese @linzels-blog @rifflovesjoey @maggiemayhemnj @magpiepills @youandmeand5bucks @morallyinept @5oh5 @missredherring @avastrasposts @anavatazes @imaswellkid @pedrit0-pascalit0 @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @survivingandenduring @boliv-jenta @prolix-yuy @sheepdogchick3 @inept-the-magnificent @northernwindd @alltheglitterandtheroar @readingiskeepingmegoing @txlady37 @rebel-held @alwaysmicado @heareball @clawdee @covetyou @bellsbluebrd @alltheglitterandtheroar @axshadows @casa-boiardi @bastardmandennis @stealyourblorbos @chronically-ghosted @katw474 @beabliss @nerdieforpedro

I don't know why some usernames don't seem to link when I try to tag them, btw. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to fix this?

[atalossofwords]

YOU TASTE THE SILVER - IvanTill WIP (Part 9)

Guys, I don't normally post here unless I have at least another POV ready, but I'm gonna admit this last Ivan POV is NOT working out. I rewrote it three times, and it's still fighting me. Hopefully I can dig myself out of the ditch, but oh well. Y'all can enjoy Till's POV while I suffer.

ON AO3 - part one - part two - part three - part four - part five&six - part seven - part eight

Till's life is going well. He's used to the new house, he's found new inspiration to write and mix more songs ever since Mizi's concert, so he's going live more often, which means his audience has been growing steadily. Dewey got a promotion at work and Isaac is doing an EMT course that will guarantee him a promotion as well.

He's also started chatting more often with Navi, enough so that they are... almost friends? He doesn't want to assume, but Navi is always so happy to talk about anything Till wants that the conversation flows easily. Navi especially likes to know what Till is eating, all the boring details that Till finds himself... eager to share. Till has never been overly chatty, and idle conversation is awkward, but somehow Navi shows so much interest in what he has to say that Till finds himself invested in expressinging himself more, in looking for things to talk about.

Navi likes knowing what Till thinks of the weather, and actively engages with him over which brand of ramyeon is better. Somehow, they can get into discussions over the most innocuous thing, and end up discussing music and lyrics and mixing for hours on end.

They have an ongoing discussion about the use of english in lyrics, which frequently comes back up whenever one of them thinks of another argument, and also an untold pact of sending animal pictures to each other; Till sends pictures of any dog he sees on the street, because Navi said it's his favorite animal even if he can't have one, and Navi sends back cat pictures, since his sister has one and cat pictures are easier than snake ones, which are Till's favorite animal.

Till feels... warm, about it. He's never had many friends, being a lone wolf throughout his school years; he was always in detention, or going directly home after school. He'd always had a temper, something that only really cooled after he left school and was allowed to focus on music. Dewey was his brother, not his friend, and Hyuna was more of an acquaintance than a close friendship.

Till also felt. Guilty, maybe? About the amount of money Navi kept spending on him. He wasn't a friendship expert, but he was pretty sure friends didn't send you almost 50$ dollars when you complained about picking between ramyeon and tteokbokki and told you to pick both.

(Till knew it was a mistake to migrate over from texting to Kakaotext, since now Navi could send him money directly through that. But he also had to admit the amount of stickers Navi used was beyond cute.)

Navi had also sent him some other gifts, beyond the spontaneous kakaopay transfers and normal stream donations; he's sent Till a collection of rings after bothering Till for a week straight to give him his ring size, a comfy sweater that Till didn't take off for a week due to how soft it was, and so on.

Till felt a weird tingling feeling on his stomach, a blush taking over his face whenever Navi sent him anything. He's normally fine ignoring it after a token protest, too practical to actually deny money.

He thinks he should feel bad about it, or something. Dewey told him, a few weeks into his streaming career, that he'd feel awful about getting so much money and not giving it back. Till thinks it's an exchange; he streams and people give him money for entertaining them. For a little while, the same applied to Navi. Why should he care if someone wasted their money on Till? He didn't think gacha companies were at fault for people's spending habits.

That was until they started texting. That was until Navi stopped being just a name on the screen and became a person who liked dogs, did spicy challenges for fun and had strong opinions about the conservation of endangered animals.

Till thought he might start to feel guilty, then, or at least want to pay Navi back somehow.

Instead what he gets is a warmth throughout his chest and an entirely undignified urge to squirm in place. He likes it when Navi spends money on the most mundane things, when Navi tells him to get himself some food. When Navi sends him money with instructions to get something specific Till scrambles to get it, and enjoys the treat with red cheeks and an unknown tightness in his chest.

He doesn't get it, and he's too embarrassed to talk about it with anyone else.

(Reviewing the memory, later on, will show Till the following; the weird warmth, the urge to squirm, it is arousal. Till likes it a lot, when Navi gives him things and tells him what to do with it. He feels spoiled and taken care of and confusedly horny about it all.)

He's doing his best to not care much about it, but his weeks-long wave of good luck seems to have run dry, because he ended up sick some two days ago. He's had to cancel three streams already, and is miserable enough he's debating actually going to a doctor about it.

Luckily for him, he's not coughing or nauseous, which are his least favorite symptoms. He is congested and his nose is running all the time, and he does feel feverish, but there's not much he can do about that except sleep it off.

He's currently huddled into his couch, slowly eating the samgyetang Isaac made for him and watching a show Hyuna recommended. It's a simple, no-thoughts-necessary show; the female MC is a former yakuza member that's trying to leave her past behind and live as a teacher, and the two competing love interests are a big executive type who has a child on the school and is an ass to her but is able to afford a pretty luxurious life as long as she goes along with his plans, or a old member of the Yakuza who fell in love with her when he was a child and is now reforming himself to be able to stand besides her "in the light", as he put it.

Till is cheering on the yakuza guy, mostly because he's a lot sweeter than the asshole executive.

He's also live-blogging to Navi, who has been hovering so badly that Till gave up and allowed the other to get his actual address so Navi can buy him some soup and energy drinks. He thinks he'll regret it later, but he's not complaining right now, when Navi is making sure he has food delivered for every meal and also all the necessary meds.

You [ 5:47PM ] Oh look, the asshole is going on a business trip. Maybe we'll get some good scenes with the yakuza guy now.

Navi [ 5:47 ] You're really invested into this, aren't you? What do you even like in this character?

You [ 5:48PM ] He's just so much better than the asshole. I don't get why girls would ever go for someone who's so rude to them.

Till huffs, looking up at the TV as the in-between episode extra starts. They're always funny, showing the behind the scenes and some interviews with the actors. He likes the main actress well enough, and by what he saw the actor for the asshole is a well-established star that he had no idea existed until now.

Well, the same can be said of the younger yakuza guy. His actor, someone named Ivan, is talking about how he prepared for the role, and Till can't help but be interested. The asshole guy only talked about his physical conditioning, but Ivan is talking about how he talked things over with the director, watched former-yakuza interviews and did his best to research about the motivations of his character.

He's also very handsome, in an endearing way, and Till can't help agreeing with the interviewer when she tells Ivan his fans will love the role, and that seeing him do such an earnest character will get all the girls swooning.

You [ 5:48PM ] Also, seeing the interviews, this Ivan person is just a lot better than the other actor. He cares a lot more about his character, which I think is way more important than how you look.

The interview ends, and Till decides to send another commentary before getting up to fetch more tissues for his nose.

You [ 5:48PM ] I bet Ivan would look cute doing aegyo. He's got the face for it, at least. Though I don't know if actors do that, I've only seen Idols do it on command.

Message sent, Till puts his phone to the side and gathers his little mountain for tissues and shuffles to the trash can, dumping them before refilling his water bottle and getting a new box before snuggling up again.

Navi still hasn't answered.

He frowns. He knows Navi can be busy, he definitely has other things to do rather than keep Till company, but he usually sends a BRB text if he'll be away from his phone for more than a minute.

He's still a little sick, and fervish, and miserable, so he doesn't think too hard about it and messages Navi again.

You [ 5:50PM ] Navi?

Navi [ 5:51PM ] Sorry, hyung. I just got surprised. My name is Ivan as well.

Till makes a little surprised noise. Ivan isn't that common of a name. What are the odds?

You [ 5:51PM ] Wow, it must be weird to share names with someone famous.

Navi answers quickly, but with far poorer grammar than what Till is used to.

Navi [ 5:52PM ] haha yeah well, I got used to it. do you like Ivan?

You [ 5:53PM ] I haven't seen much besides this series, he seems pretty good. Did you have any recommendations?

Navi – or, well, Ivan. Till quickly goes to change his contact name before he forgets – takes some more time to answer, and Till decides he must be busy, so he puts the show back on, doing his best not to sneeze into his soup. It's only as he's almost napping that he gets a text.

Ivan [ 5:52PM ] "Creating Heaven", "So long, not enough" and "Kamera" are tolerable, but hyung should watch some more and tell me what's your favorites!

Till is too sleepy to type, so he just takes a picture of himself giving thumbs up and snuggles back on his couch, Ivan-the-actor's soothing voice talking with the MC lulling him to a nice, dreamless sleep.

part ten

[inkybloom-luv]

Words Unsaid 2; late night and rainy day

Jamil Viper. I wish I had the courage to speak to you. Even now my words falter and I stutter when you're the topic of discussion. I haven't very many friends but Ace and Deuce unfortunately do tease me about just how obvious I seem to be when it's about you. I can't help it. You take my breath away in the best way possible, make me feel happy.

I'll be the first to admit though that I wish you would never see my more pathetic side. The one that cowers, that freezes in fear, flinches at every little thing. I wish that if you did see me, not that you ever would, I'm not sure I'm quite special enough to be noticed by someone like you, you saw me through rose tinted glasses. As someone who was smart, sweet and whatever else I'm sure you and your darling silver tongue could come up with.

I've hidden away my first.. well I don't want to call it a letter to you, but that's what it is, I suppose. I've seen you around more often recently. I've unfortunately been busy. Recently I've been having a few nightmares and have been hoping to sleep in the afternoons rather than doing as many things as I previously had been. I'm writing this sitting in Savanaclaw.

Somehow I feel like you may know what I've done. I.. was talked into giving up the dorm should I fail to fulfill a contract. But I didn't want to agree to it. I don't like it. It's loud in Savanaclaw. I'm glad Leona is willing to share his room. I'm currently set up on his floor with an extra mattress and Grim, little weasel he is, got a nice cat bed. But even now you keep me awake.

I wonder what it would be like if I could lay next to you instead, run my hand along your back, hold you close and listen to your heart. Those are delusions but they are what has been getting me through. I'm tired and I'm anxious all the time, I just can't seem to relax. That's all I have for now. I wish my dreams were real.

Jamil, recently I saw you when it was raining. I was stuck under a small roof, trying to escape the downpour. I saw you running towards Sam's shop with your hood up. Has anyone told you you look like a snake from the side with your hood up? Your hair makes your Sideprofile look like it has a little fang. It's cute. I don't believe I'll ever say it to you. I did call out to you, saying Sam was in the cafeteria. He was organizing an ingredient bulk buy for the cafeteria ghosts. You thanked me and came over for a moment, ducking under the little roof as well. We were so close. And most importantly, I spoke to you. I saw your pretty eyes again.

My heart was beating out of my chest the entire time, I'm sure you saw how flushed I was. All I can do is hope I did not embarrass myself by saying something weird. I was so happy you were there, hiding from the rain with me. You asked me why I never look people in the eye when they speak. I told you it scared me. And then I told you your eyes were pretty. That you didn't scare me. And I meant it. I can't lie to you. Not when you hold my heart in your skilled hands. I'm glad I found this paper again.

♪~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♪

One last treat for y'all when I go to bed. Working on pt 3 as well. Ya, have fun with this and I hope you enjoy even if I think this one isn't as good as the other one!! <3333333

Can be read as an x reader since it's just my yuu-sona,, yas

602 words

Part 1

Part 3 Part 4

Part 5 Part 6

Part 7

@azulashengrottospiano

@dove-da-birb

@krenenbaker

[euesworld]

"She is the riverman, she escorts you across death.. with long, perfect, slender legs under her cloak. She rows across the sea slowly, cloak covering her face in shadows reciting rituals like the pope.. the oars dipping into lightless dark matter, a rippling hollow darkness that emanates an eerie groan. You are aware of her, though you can't move a thread.. death.. her cloak slips a bit and you see a skull. Thin wispy, stringy hair hangs from the skull in patches and her eyes are cold.. two blue sparks floating in its eye sockets where the eyes should be.. she turned and you hear the raft bump against something, a dock? Out of the corner of your eye, you can see her coming over to where you lie.. with a strength that was impossible, she picked your body up easily with one hand, and as she carried you, you can see the dark, star filled night. Your body twists in her grip and you are facing those perfect womanly legs again as she walked along.. she stopped. Suddenly you feel as if something is wrong.. you can feel despair, emptiness, sadness, hate.. thick around you, squeezing like a snake. The feeling is consuming you, like your soul is dissolving.. it transcends pain like nothing you have ever experienced before. If you could scream, it would be an eternal wail of anguish like the curse of billions of souls that believed in absolutely nothing, in other words.. the devil.. the devil is absolutely nothing, the opposite of God. And as the riverman flings your body into a big dark hole, the energy that makes up your soul dissolves and the last thing that you experienced was the fabric of your soul being slowly torn, shredded, and destroyed even as you fought against it. You ceased to exist. They say you can't destroy energy, but when you believe in nothing.. you become nothing in the afterlife. Believing in nothing is like believing in the devil, the darkness before light when nothing existed.. you don't return to the flow of the universe, you don't return to God. The riverman looks at the black hole once more and turns around.. she returns to her boat to collect another soul. She looks up into the ethereal sky filled with stars and she whispers a little prayer.. 'I live for you. I love for you. Treat others with compassion. I give to you. My life for you. May our souls be everlasting.' She started rowing back across the darkness lapping at the sides of her boat. I'm starting to wonder how many trips she makes a day? If you don't believe in anything, why do you do the things you do? Cause you are told? Must be a pretty empty life with no meaning. Maybe it's best to just become part of the nothing.. it's a cruel existence not knowing God's love. God loves everything equally, down to the last cockroach but if you don't believe in God, God is not obligated to believe in you.. anything that God doesn't believe in just ceases to exist. Which isn't such a bad fate anyway, cause y'all don't believe in anything.. so you are right in a way."

Meh, this will probably be analyzed and scrutinized.. it's a story. Take what you want out of it, haha.. it's a weird fuggin story, I admit - eUë

[bunnys-lil-hideout]

🎫 That dude from Little Nightmares. Also here is a free pass to get FREAKY wink wink

THINNY. omggggg thinny he's so hehehehe.

god i remember watching my friend play the second game right after it released. it was such a wonderful experience seeing a new light be put onto the world, and Thinny was definitely a very nice welcome into it.

of course when he first appeared in the game he was meant to seem like the antagonist, and i gave into that impression.... while also thinking he was kinda. uhm hehe *kicks my feet* y'all know me from my f/o list i clearly have a thing for weirdly tall skinny uncanny men but at least i admit to it.

hes SO inhumanly tall and slender. BIG long arms to wrap around you and bring you close, he can just put his skinny weird limbs around you like a snake. he's probably extremely cold which i will gladly warm him up with my body heat. he's got some dirt all over him which is to be expected in that dingy city. not a problem though i'll take a nice warm cloth with soap and clean him up he deserves to feel fresh and clean <3

i'll help him fix up any holes in his suit and hat. i'll watch as he slides and crawls out of the TVs and be entertained by it every single time like it's the first time i'm seeing a magic trick as a kid. i'll let him take me on a tour around the city, show me all the places that are beautiful despite the horrors around it all, and look at every building and light from the top of the Tower. it would be a lovely dream.

and i could give him so many gifts. i would give him a new suit or a toy he never got to play with, or even bring him food he never got to eat. a nice big cooked fish, a fat burger, a giant slice of cake. i'll watch him happily enjoy the food he never got to experience after what happened to him because he deserves it.

and also i don't care that i'm barely up to his thighs i will do my best to keep him safe around the city even if it kills me. i'll keep that doctor and teacher far away from him as much as i can and i won't let anything try to hurt him. if he does get hurt i'll take care of his wounds and injuries and i'll rest with him while he heals and get him whatever he needs.

and god god god GOD............. kinda spoilers for LN2 for anyone who wants to play it/watch it, that fucking ending...... hurt my heart so bad :[ my poor baby, he didn't deserve to be stuck in that position, to be seen in that light when all he wanted was to have someone with him. i wish i could've been there for him. that i could've walked into that room and just stayed in there to give him company, show him he's not alone.

my poor thinny deserved better <3

ok now the freaky stuff under the cut

i am not immune to how long limbs would wrap around me and keep me in place on someone's lap because Thinny could fully do that. he could grab me from 2 feet away and just yank me from wherever i'm standing and bring me right up against his chest and i would just lose my breath on the spot. his long fingers. sorry his long fingers trailing over my body. sorry his long fingers reaching down to my thighs because he likes how big and thick i am. sorry his long fingers reaching towards my crotch while i'm just relaxing to his gentle touch on his lap and i jolt when i feel the tip of his finger touch me through the fabric on my pants because he's already made me so sensitive with how he's treating me. sorry sorry sorry i need that man palm me so bad.

also of COURSE i'm gonna praise him and make sure he knows that he's loved. i'll caress his face in the softest way and tell him how important and special he is and that i'd never want him to be hurt like that again. i'll give him soft kisses on his cheeks and neck as my hands take off his suit jacket and feel around his stomach under his white shirt. i'll whisper in his ear how handsome and sweet he is and how i'm so lucky to get to be with him meanwhile my hands have unbuckled his belt and reached into his boxers and started stroking him. i'll tell him i'll do whatever he wants me to do to make him feel loved and seen al while i peck kisses from his face all the way down to his hard on and look up at him with such a tender gaze.

also if he ever wants to try and use his powers in the bedroom i'm absolutely agreeing to that cause can you fucking imagine. he's physically in a different part of the city and i'm in a living room watching TV, his arm suddenly reaches out of the screen and gropes my chest and stomach and i'm so startled by it but also IMMEDIATELY turning into putty while his hand slides under my stomach and touches my crotch and slips into my panties and starts to tease the lips and folds until i'm soaked almost instantly and he fingers me like crazy while both the TV and my brain just become static. hello can any one fucking hear me.

also his dick his fuckin dick. i imagine he's gotta be like 8 to 9 feet tall so even if his dick is "average size" for his height it would still be fucking MASSIVE for me even when flaccid cause like what is that, like 10 inches flaccid and 12 inches hard? to him that's normal but to me PLEASE try and plug the whole thing in and hit the back as much as you can please i am begging you so so so bad i need my walls BEATEN.

i like big men a heeheheheh FUCK

[oceannxo]

DEAR DIARY, DEAR DIARY, I'VE BEEN SEARCHING FOR A HIGHER ME

I'M IN THE SKY, IN THE PILOT'S SEAT, TRYNA STOP MY MIND FROM SPIRALING

AND THAT'S IRONY, THAT'S IRONY

I'M JUST LOOKING FOR A RESOLUTION, I JUST WANT TO BE A BETTER HUMAN

BUT IT'S HARD WHEN EVERYBODY'S ACTING STUPID

PARDON ME IF THAT CAME OFF RUDE, I JUST HAVE A BAD ATTITUDE

WITH THE WORLD AND NOT JUST WITH YOU, IT'S THE SIDE EFFECTS OF ABUSE

I ADMIT I'M A LITTLE STRANGE, I DON'T THINK THAT I'LL EVER CHANGE

I SURVIVED A WHOLE LIFE OF PAIN, YOU COULD SAY I ESCAPED MY FATE

I'M A CYNICAL, EGOTISTICAL, UNPREDICTABLE, HARDENЕD CRIMINAL

AND I CAN BE A LITTLE HYPOCRITICAL, BUT I'LL ADMIT IT STRAIGHT TO YOUR FACE

I'M UNBRЕAKABLE, IRREPLACEABLE, UNDENIABLY INSPIRATIONAL

I USED EVERYTHING I HAD AVAILABLE TO MAKE ME THE PERSON I AM TODAY

DEAR DIARY, DEAR DIARY, I JUST HAD ANOTHER WILD DREAM

I WAS IN A WORLD THAT ADMIRED ME

AND WHEN I WOKE UP I WAS SMILING

AND THAT'S IRONY, THAT'S IRONY

YOU TALK A LOT, BUT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME

I'M JUST HOPING THAT MY TESTIMONY WILL INSPIRE Y'ALL TO STOP ACTING PHONY

PARDON ME IF THAT CAME OFF WEIRD, I DON'T MEAN TO BE MEAN, I SWEAR

I HAVE BEEN THROUGH A LOT THIS YEAR

I JUST WANT TO MAKE A FEW THINGS CLEAR

I DON'T LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE HATE BEHIND MY BACK AND NOT TO MY FACE

NOWADAYS IT JUST FEELS SO FAKE

SO I'LL CUT THE GRASS TO EXPOSE THE SNAKES

I'M UNSTOPPABLE, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE

YOU DON'T WANNA SEE THE DIABOLICAL SIDE OF ME THAT NEVER STOPS, IS VOLATILE

SO I SUGGEST YOU STAY IN YOUR LANE

I'M UNAPOLOGETIC, YOU KNOW WHERE IT'S HEADED

I WILL NEVER EVER LET UP OFF THE PEDAL

I GOT THE SPIRIT OF EVERY WARRIOR IN ME EVER

SO BACK THE FUCK UP, GET OUT MY FACE

YOU'RE A SLAVE TO LABOR AND YOU PRAISE THE FASCIST

YOU KISS THE HAND THAT TAKES HALF IN TAXES

FAKING OUTRAGE AND BEING SEEN, A GENERATION WITH NO SELF-ESTEEM

IT'S TIME TO RISE UP AND STAND AGAINST THEM

BREAK THE CHAINS AND FINALLY SEE THE VISION

WE'RE POST-TRAUMATIC FROM A BROKEN SYSTEM

FOLLOW ME INTO THE CHAOS ENGINE, AH

IT'S TIME TO STAND, IT'S TIME TO FIGHT

DON'T BE AFRAID TO TWIST THE KNIFE

YOUR SACRIFICE TO BREAK THE CURSE

PREPARE TO DIE, PREPARE TO BURN

ABANDON HOPE, IT'S NOT ENOUGH

'CAUSE ALL OUR GODS ABANDONED US

YOUR SACRIFICE TO BREAK THE CURSE

LIGHT THE MATCH, WATCH IT BURN

OH, HEAVEN FALLS, THE ANGELS DIE

LET IT BURN FROM THE START

WHEN EVERYTHING FALLS APART

WHEN EVERYTHING FALLS APART

WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?

WHEN EVERYTHING FALLS APART

HEAVY IS THE CROWN, YOU SEE

WHEN EVERYTHING FALLS APART

WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?

WHEN EVERYTHING FALLS APART

HEAVY IS THE CROWN, YOU SEE

[captain-yeet]

Rhythm of the Night (Felix Volturi x Fem!Reader)

Summary: You weren't much of a nightclub girl. After some prodding by your friends, you gave in and decided to give it a shot. At the same time, a vampire had chosen the club you're at as his hunting grounds for the night...

Word count: 2.4k words.

Warnings: Swearing, suggestive themes, harrassment, Felix is a h0rny bastard, y'all beware

Author note: I guess I’m back? And with shameless sorta smutty Felix content to boot? Can’t say I’m surprised at myself - the thirst for this man is endless. Anyway, enjoy! I’m back to supply with more hot Volturi guard content.

Loud, blaring music? Check.

Standing awkwardly with a drink in your hand? Check.

Two out of three of your friends ditching you in this too-big-for-it's-own-good club? Double check.

You'd had a long week. Your job was driving you nuts, and things were getting on top of you in a bad way. After visiting you and seeing you curled up on the couch with a distant look in your eyes, your friends had dragged you into your bedroom, gotten you looking like a full snack and dragged your ass to a nightclub.

A nightclub, you mentally sighed, the lights flashing distracting you. It HAD to be a nightclub. I better not regret this.

"Come on, Y/N, loosen up!" Your friend next to you whined, a playful grin on their face.

"I've never been to one of these places before," you admitted loudly, your voice barely audible even with shouting.

Shaking their head, your remaining friend laughed. "Come, trust me."

Taking the drink from your clammy hand and setting it aside on a random surface, they pulled you into the fray of people dancing. A new song had begun and the excited cheers of the crowd were almost as loud as the song itself.

Leaning in, you heard your friend say, "Just follow my lead and have fun your way!"

Taking a deep breath, you nodded, and began swaying to the music along with your friend.

Entering the human infested club, Felix groaned internally. Demetri, because of course he would, suggested that he try and find a meal at the nearest nightclub in their vicinity.

"Lots of humans, especially ones who expect to have a fun night out!" Demetri had said casually, "just use your charm and lure one out."

Some days, I really do hate that man, Felix grumbled internally as the humid air and the scent of drunk people hit his face as he neared the sea of dancers. Scanning the faces and the scents of the crowd, he searched for his meal.

Demetri wasn't wrong; one of the best places to hunt were in fact nightclubs, along with dingy alleys in busy cities, hiking trails... and if you were desperate enough even regular old bars in cozy towns.

He wasn't desperate enough to risk his neck picking off a local from a bar. Too many people who know each other personally in bars. Nightclubs will do for the night.

Felix zeroed in on a potential victim; a random young man dancing with a girl and another man suggestively in the fray. He had no issue turning on his charm for the same sex - at the end of the day, they're all the same. All food.

A focused look on his face, he began to approach the man.

Midway through navigating the dancing humans, his hunt was interrupted by a body being shoved into him and a loud yell of "I said don't fucking touch me!"

Blinking, Felix's dark eyes darted from the person who was shoved into him and the one who shoved said person. A woman stood in front of him, glaring at their assailant with a mix of fury and fear rolled into one unfocused stare.

"... Just a friendly touch bitch, geez." the assailant grumbled, inaudible to human ears, but Felix just managed to catch it.

The woman's eyes shifted up to him. The wind felt like it'd been knocked out of him both by her scent as he paid more attention to her, and her mere presence itself. It was captivating, alluring even. Like a lasso had been thrown over him and was tugging him forward towards her.

She was captivating.

                                                            ~~

You found yourself staring at the absurdly tall man in front of you like an idiot. Out of all the times you had to find yourself stunned speechless by how handsome someone was, your subconscious picked a brilliant time to do so.

Handsome was an understatement, you thought hazily.

Almost forgetting the man who had put his hands on you without your consent, you shook your head and backed away quickly. Don't be creepy, don't be creepy, don't be creepy by staring at the hot guy, you chanted internally.

Pushing through the crowd again, you searched for any of your friend's faces. Tonight was taking a weird turn and you just wanted to forget the weird shit.

After what felt like a millennia, your anxiety fueled by the bone rattling bass of the music that vibrated through your body and the club itself, you found the friend that stood with you when the others had ditched.

They took one look at your expression and a look of concern lit their eyes. "You okay?" they mouthed, gently reaching out and rubbing your shoulder reassuringly.

Nodding shakily, you gave a weak smile. "Got lost," you mouthed back.

Half an hour later and with a bit of booze in your system, you finally let loose. You were still upset about the guy touching you but you pushed it to the back of your mind for now; this would be the first and last time you go clubbing, you thought.

Dancing with your friend, you closed your eyes and lost yourself in the rhythm of the song that was playing, giggling all the way.

"Hey, Y/N!" You heard your friend call. Opening your eyes, they motioned off to the side with a devilish grin. "You've got an admirer!"

Following her gaze, you searched until you spotted who they were talking about, and promptly felt the blood in your cheeks boil from more than just being tipsy.

It was the insanely tall hot guy from earlier.

And he was looking directly at you.

"Aw man, what do I doooooo?" You whined loudly, desperately looking at your friend for help.

"What do you mean?" they replied, laughing.

You leaned in closer so they could hear you better. "He's too pretty for me," you hissed. You quickly sneaked another glance at him and... he was laughing?

Oh god is my mere appearance that funny? You thought to yourself.

"Why don't you go find out?" Your friend whispered back, giggling. “Or better yet, let’s tease him!”

Go find out? Are they mad? What if he rejects me and I have to live with being rejected by a ethereal-looking hot person? What if they don't?

Wait, tease how-?

Your friend suddenly grabbed your hips and the dance turned very sexual in nature. Catching along to their plan, you grinned, albeit a little manically due to pure anxiety, and matched your friend’s suggestiveness.

 “Oh yeah, it’s working,” they whispered in your ear. “Look.”

Turning your body away from your friend to allow them to grind behind you as your hips swayed in sync to the rhythm of the song playing, you felt very satisfied when you saw the handsome man staring straight at you like a rabbit in headlights.

Damn, it worked!

At your smug grin, the man straightened up out of his daze with a dark look in his eyes.

 “I think he wants youuuuu,” your friend cooed in your ear.

To hit the final nail in your coffin, he lifted one of his hands palm up, curling four fingers with a smirk on his face. He was calling you over.

Your heart leaped out of your chest. This is fine.

Taking a deep breath and deciding "Fuck it", you made your way over to the ridiculously tall hot man, not before finishing a shot your friend had placed in your hand from who-knows-where. You silently thanked them for the extra liquid courage. Weaving through the crowd, you tried to steady your ever-growing nerves as you got closer to the mysterious stranger.

                                                           ~~

“What do I dooooo?” the pretty young lady whined to her friend, prompting her friend to ask her why. “He’s too pretty for me,” she hissed, barely audible over the bass of the music.

Felix laughed obnoxiously at her distress. The sight of her pretty eyes going wide when he beckoned her to him was one thing, but “He’s too pretty for me” sent him off the edge into a fit of amused almost-hysterical laughter.

Get a handle on yourself, he chided himself. Quickly as he lost his composure he regained it, waiting for the human’s decision, a little smidge of anxiety rising in his chest. What if she decides not to come over? Then my chances with the little human are blown.

The thought made his mind short-circuit. I referred to her as if she was mine...

There wasn’t time to ponder it further thought; as his train of thought refocused on his surroundings as she did something very unexpected.

Her friend whispered something into her ear and before he knew it he was watching her dance very suggestively in front of him. They teamed up to taunt him.

And it was working. Felix almost completely forgot about his thirst for blood as pure lust took over his senses. Oh she’s going to be the death of me, he groaned internally, his eyes trained on every motion her body made. Felix’s thoughts quickly and shameless went into the gutter as he began picturing how’d she feel dancing like that against him... and on his lap... and also what he’d do in retaliation to the teasing.

Her friend whispered something else into her ear, the snake to his sweet Eve in the garden, and they both turned to look at him. Backing away from her friend, the woman took a deep breath and he could hear her growl the words “Fuck it,” downing a shot handed to her by her friend before beginning to stride over toward him.

Standing up a little straighter, he tried to turn off the very dirty thoughts running laps in his mind as she came closer. He wanted this to succeed, after all. A small polite smile crept onto his face as the pretty lady appeared before him.

 “Hi,” she greeted him wearing a nervous smile, a different persona standing before him from the seductress that taunted him on the dancefloor.

Felix grinned, turning on the full power of his charm on the helpless girl. “I uh, couldn’t help but recognize you from earlier, how are you feeling after that earlier incident?”

She froze at the pet name, then her pretty eyes narrowed as she was trying to recall the events in her drunken state. When it clicked they widened. “Right! Yeah... that wasn’t very fun.” Pausing a moment, she stared at Felix’s chest, shyly refusing to meet his gaze. “Thank you for stepping in. Really, I appreciate it.”

This poor sweet thing, Felix thought to himself, completely enamored. She goes from being loud and unaware of how loud she’s being with her friend to shy and bashful trying to talk to me.

 “Make a move, idiota,” Demetri’s voice chimed in, putting extra emphasis on the last mocking word; where exactly he was Felix had no idea, but, with his old friend taunting him from the shadows, he decided it was now or never.

 Felix ducked down and leaned in closer to Y/N’s face, speaking clearly in her ear. “What’s your name, gorgeous?” 

Y/N’s heart hammered away frantically even before he finished asking; most likely due to how close he now was to her, Felix concluded, but he’d like to think it was also due to some level of mutual attraction. 

He hoped, anyway.

 “It’s Y/N,” she answered, subconsciously turning her head a little toward Felix’s face.

 “Well Y/N, it was my pleasure to keep creepy assholes off you.”

Oh dear lord why did I say it like that? He chided himself internally, cringing after the sentence left his mouth. I might as well have said “thanks for being harassed, sexy.”

Over the heavy bass of the club’s music, Demetri’s cackling laughter further teased Felix.

To his surprise - and safe to say Demetri’s, from wherever he was lurking and watching this unfold - Y/N giggled, the melodic sound growing in volume till it became an obnoxious booming laugh of her own. Pulling back to stand at his full height again, Felix looked at Y/N like she’d grown two heads.

 “Well, please feel free to keep more creeps away from me in the future,” she said casually, like Felix hadn’t said something awkward. “Mind telling me your name?”

Blinking a couple times just to compose himself - and keep up the “human” appearance - he grinned back at her. “Felix.”

Y/N matched Felix’s grin with one of her own, and from that moment Felix knew he was hooked on her. He was so absorbed by her smile that he didn’t notice her pulling out her phone. 

 “Gimme your phone,” she commanded, a playful glint in her eyes. “and make sure it’s unlocked.”

Curious at what this strange woman would do next, Felix reached into his back pocket and pulled out his phone, unlocking it as she commanded. He held out his phone and she took it from his hand, a small shocked gasp leaving her lips as her warm skin made contact with his icy skin.

 “May I ask what you’re doing?” he asked, cocking his head a little to the side as he watched her fingers tap away on the phone screen.

 “Going through your nudes,” she commented in a monotone voice, her full drunken concentration solely on his phone. 

 “Is that so?” he chuckled dryly, raising his eyebrows at the crassness. 

She looked up once, with a small smirk, and then with a final tap to the phone screen, handed his phone back to him. “Normally I don’t do this but I like you, and I just put my number in your phone.”

She said it so casually, but her heart steadily hammering away in the same, frantic pace it was when he leaned in earlier was a giveaway to Felix that Y/N was nervous.

She’s... giving me her number. Wow.

Amazed and elated, Felix’s grin could have cracked his face with how wide he was smiling. “I’ll be in touch for sure, Y/N,” he replied, enjoying his her name felt leaving his mouth.

With a playful smile and a blush growing steadily on her cheeks, Y/N backed away from Felix in the direction of her friend. “I’ll see you around then!” she called out over the music, biting her lip in an attempt to keep from smiling so hard. 

In that moment, Felix could care less about how much of a dumb ass he felt like earlier for his blunder of a pick up line, his still budding thirst or his friend’s smug comment of “Well played,” faintly reaching his ears. He’d endure the torment from Demetri’s teasing later. 

Right now, he was staring at a drunken angel that would be his entire future, and she was none the wiser tot he fact that with by some liquid courage she had stolen this centuries-old man’s heart in it’s entirety.

[artificialqueens]

i don't want to be alone anymore (branjie) -- frenchy

a/n: hi hi!! i want to thank you all for the love on my first part of this story, i appreciate that more than you know!!! i decided to give it a second part, though both can be read on their own. & yes i am running this billy joel song title theme with the names. ps. i can be found at alaskathunder on tumblr & also now at frenchys on ao3, where these will end up eventually, along with others, i definitely plan to write more things & pairings soon. hope y'all enjoy, angels!! <3

@Bhytes1: @VanessaVanjie I’m going to Starbucks you want something?

*****

Brooke wasn’t sure how they did it, how they proceeded to shamelessly flirt online as if their private kiss hadn’t even happened only a few nights ago. If it wasn’t for the video evidence, she could have sworn that entire night was a fever dream. Part of her almost wished that she didn’t remember it so vividly, that the way Vanessa touched her and kissed her with no audience wasn’t so detailed in her head. Wished she didn’t have to stop herself from smiling when she remembered it.

It was one thing remembering and thinking about the kiss – she couldn’t change that that happened, and that she didn’t stop it. If anything, she wanted it. She knew it was partly on her for leaning into it, and for getting upset that it hadn’t lasted even longer. She couldn’t blame Vanessa for that. But she could blame Vanessa for what she said.

“At some point we have to quit pretending like this is only for the fans.”

If Brooke thought she was over analyzing these social media interactions before, she was even more fucked now. She only assumed this is how the fans felt on the daily, trying to decipher everything, trying to figure out if this was all Vanessa playing into the contract or using it to hint at how she really felt. How she still felt.

It was futile to put any music on as she took her time getting into drag for the viewing party tonight, where she’d be joining Phi Phi O’hara in a screening of episode 5 – the Monster Ball. No attempts at turning up said music could stop her mind from being only focused on Vanessa, on the moment they shared, on the fact that she had to spend another night reliving the honeymoon phase of their relationship on a giant screen in front of an audience.

Just as Brooke anticipated, it was rough. No. Rough was an understatement. She was conscious of how often she gazed dreamily into the screen, star-eyed. Watching them kiss, and comfort each other, and not be able to predict their fate.

She didn’t expect anyone else to notice, too.

“Can I ask you something? Without you getting defensive?” Phi Phi asked after the episode and Brooke’s consequent performance, standing against the closed dressing room door. She kept her distance, her prodding question accompanied by a sensitive color in her voice. Brooke knew she was trying her best to sound open minded, borderline empathetic.

Brooke sighed. “Shoot,” she encouraged the other queen, but didn’t look up. Phi Phi’s second question was enough to warn her that this wouldn’t be a lighthearted conversation.

“If it wasn’t for the fans. Or the publicity, or the ratings, or the – you get the point,” Phi Phi cut herself off, presuming that Brooke heard enough synonyms. “Would you care?”

Brooke stopped fiddling with her bobby pin, blinking up at Phi Phi through the mirror. “What do you mean?”

“Would you be able to stop all this weird, mysterious twitter stuff tomorrow and not give it a second thought?” Phi Phi wasn’t sure if Brooke was just deflecting, or if she was really that far removed from reality and genuinely needed the simplifying. “Not miss him in your life?” At the use of ‘him���, Brooke knew this was deeper than just not having Vanjie as a fellow queen and friend. “I know it’s none of my business, but if you could see what I saw – the way you watched that episode out there tonight – you’d be asking the same thing.” Phi Phi shrugged, and Brooke hated her for it. She hated how easily Phi Phi could get into her head and understand. Worst of all, she hated how Phi Phi saw it her duty to confront Brooke about it. Maybe she’d thank her in the future, but for now she was brimming with frustration.

“I don’t know. I don’t know, okay?” Another sigh, this one inspired by her own irritation and defeat. “One second we’re flirting and both understanding that we need to stop it before it goes too far. The next we’re –” Brooke stopped, closing her eyes as to stop herself from admitting to Phi Phi what went down the other night. Was it even a big deal? As big as she was clearly making it in her own mind?

“You’re…?” Phi Phi lifted an eyebrow, coaxing Brooke’s frustrated rant. Feelings could be spared for the truth.

Brooke took a deep breath, steadying herself, hands planted onto the table. “We kissed. Like, actually kissed. And I don’t know what her intentions are.”

“Well, I recommend figuring that out. Maybe talk to her? You guys are clearly not on awful terms, how hard could that be?” Phi Phi pressed.

You have no idea, Brooke thought. “Yeah, I’ll try. Thanks, girl,” Brooke smiled at Phi Phi, hoping her appreciation was evident.

*****

She was thrilled to finally share the photos taken of her Monster Ball looks, looks that proved successful in the challenge. She was especially thrilled at the comments regarding her final look, the one that she had fabricated herself. A storm of tulle and black fabric, off the shoulder, with a snake wrapped tastefully around her neck. The more she looked at it, the more critical, but she would defend her win.

She scrolled through the comments, smiling at the sufficient compliments and praise. How would she ever stop being appreciative of everyone who appreciated her back?

Her finger stopped scrolling upon seeing Vanessa’s Instagram handle, a blue check verifying it wasn’t a fan account.

@vanessavanjie: Put my snake around ya neck

She didn’t know whether to like it, comment some orange heart emojis and move on or to roll her eyes after what had happened the other night.

She chose a third option.

If Vanjie wants to keep playing this, then fine. I’ll play along, she thought before hitting send on the comment.

@bhytes: @vanessavanjie haven’t we already done that?

Brooke barely had time to think about the repercussions of her remark before she received a text, shocked at the speed at which Vanessa saw the comment.

Vanjie: Careful there Brooky Poo

Vanjie: Don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea

Brooke felt her heart rate speed up with no gradual increase, immediately beating fast enough to shatter through her rib-cage and land across the room only upon reading Vanessa’s messages. She took a deep breath and typed, then retyped her message a few times, wondering if Vanessa was watching the dots disappear and reappear. Wondering if it was killing her just as much as it was Brooke. When did they turn into giddy teenagers again, instead of professionals with a common goal?

Brooke: What if i do?

She decided against adding a winking face to the end of her reply, but it didn’t stop her from immediately locking her phone and throwing it to her side. God, she needed a cigarette. And maybe a cold shower now. She’d revisit that idea depending on what her phone read next.

As if on cue, she heard the buzz of the phone ring through the bed. She took a minute to gather herself – or prepare herself was maybe the better way to put it. With a reluctance she could only blame on her fear of misunderstanding, Brooke let her hand approach her phone again. It was silly, she thought, how she could fear misunderstanding Vanessa’s intentions even after her initiation of the kiss making it fairly clear how she felt about them.

Vanjie: Oh

Two minutes ago. Brooke tried to ignore the way her heart dropped at the one-word answer; one she couldn’t even see herself replying to in a way that made sense. Maybe it was best left there, and Vanessa really was just adding a playful comment that held no substance.

She was moments away from plugging her phone in for the night and setting it aside with an air of defeat, when it buzzed in her hand. A message from Vanessa. She held her breath as she slid to open it.

Vanjie: You home?

She never exhaled quicker, and never replied quicker, either.

Brooke: Text me when you’re here.

Brooke couldn’t have anticipated what came over her to make her invite Vanessa to come over, if not beg her to come, following her last text with a sharing of her location and hotel room number. All she could do was thank the universe that they were in the same city, which was rare considering their consistent interviews, appearances and performances.

She didn’t think she had been this nervous about something since they first began seeing each other, minus possibly the night that the cast was revealed. And deep within she knew that perhaps her nerves were fruitless – what guaranteed that she and Vanessa would even do anything beyond talk? She wouldn’t dare get her hopes up based on an Instagram comment that was no different than their usual flirt-mance. But she also knew that she had to take this opportunity to confront this, whatever it was.

It wasn’t long before she heard a faint, yet urgent, knock on the door, though it felt like forever. Rolling her eyes, Brooke made her way to the door to the room, opening it with a look of counterfeit annoyance. “I told you to text me when you got here, bitch.”

“Shut up,” Vanessa was quiet, fondness diminishing the harshness of her words. “Can I come in or not?”

Brooke stepped aside, allowing Vanessa to pass her and enter the dimly lit hotel room. Brooke watched her for a moment, so caught up in the way she smelled and the way her hat sat backwards on her head in the most endearing way possible that she almost forgot to close the door.

“Don’t forget to put the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign out,” Vanessa called behind her, laughing to herself before taking a seat on the edge of the bed, looking up at Brooke, who followed her into the larger area. Vanessa’s laugh didn’t linger after seeing Brooke’s humorless expression. “I was kidding.”

“You have no idea how hard it was, Vanjie, to watch that episode up there. Phi Phi actually clocked me, y’know. The way I looked at you up there. No doubt some of the fans did, too. It was the hardest thing. You don’t even know.”

“You think I wasn’t watching the same episode? I never said it was easy for me, Brooke,” Vanessa didn’t let her continue, nor did she let the incredulous laugh leave her lips, in fear of making Brooke more upset. “I don’t like watching it either.”

“I think I’m confused,” Brooke didn’t mean to change the topic so abruptly, but this had been bugging her for days. “This was your idea. It was your idea to take a break – said you knew the ‘pressures that came with TV’,” Brooke’s immediate dive into the deep end caught Vanessa off guard. If she knew that her visit would turn into her own interrogation, she would have stayed home. “You were the one who said this wouldn’t work, Jose,” Brooke stood her ground, arms folded across her chest. Vanessa didn’t like the way she looked down upon her. Cringed at the way her real name was used. “Why the change of heart?”

“It’s not a change of heart,” Vanessa countered, eyes lit with a newfound boldness. “It’s the… same heart, just. Tired of hiding it. Which, we can keep doing it, we don’t gotta tell anyone anything. But, B,” she stood then, moving to take hold of Brooke’s hands, forcing her to uncross her arms. “I’m not a fan of us lying to ourselves, to each other.”

“Yeah? And when you tweet another flirty reply or comment something on my next live, then what? I’m not a fan of not being able to tell the real from the fake.”

“Tell me this is fake,” Vanessa was calm when she said it, her words and the way she slid her hand to the back of Brooke’s neck serving as the only preparation for the way she brought their lips together. Brooke couldn’t act surprised, like she didn’t anticipate this after their texts and intuition that what happened in that office wasn’t a one-off thing. Her expectation helped her react faster this time, without letting Vanessa end the moment before Brooke had a chance to take action. It was a much necessary continuation of what they didn’t get to finish prior to Vanessa’s performance.

Her frustration, her passion, her longing all charged Brooke into flipping their positions, hands on Vanessa’s shoulders as she held the shorter man against the wall she had been leaning against, prompting a whimper to pass between them from Vanjie’s lips. This was no sweet reunion kiss, but one that had been months in the making.

Brooke could feel Vanessa’s smile after they parted, nothing but heat in the space between them (or lack thereof), their lips still phantoms on each other. “I’m waiting,” she whispered against Brooke’s lips, all victorious smiles. “Tell me.”

“Didn’t you already try this the other day?” Brooke didn’t return her smile, but Vanessa could hear it in her voice.

“Worked, didn’t it?” She carded her hand through the barely-there hair at the back of Brooke’s neck, oblivious to how badly Brooke wanted to kiss that damn smirk off her face. “All you been thinking about, isn’t it? Our kiss?” Brooke tried to step back, though she still felt Vanessa’s hand on her, the other one now coming up to rest on Brooke’s waist. “Shit, I gotta say, though, I think I liked this one better.”

“Yeah?” Brooke cursed herself for the teasing spirit in her voice, but for some reason, she couldn’t help it. Something about Vanessa was electrifying, intoxicating her even after a year. Kicking all her resolve and purpose under the hotel carpet.

“Mhmm,” Vanjie’s eyes lay heavy-lidded, her hunger telling through her gaze. Brooke knew due to her makeup-free face that her bedroom eyes weren’t painted on deliberately. She also knew that she held the same ache in her own body, wondered if her own eyes were as teasing as her voice. “You wanna Instagram live this or somethin’?”

Brooke found herself laughing more at the way Vanessa’s suggestive voice didn’t match her sarcastic question rather than the implication itself. “Oh, fuck off,�� she laughed under her breath, swatting Vanjie’s chest as gently as possible, her hand lingering there. They both glanced down at the contact, reminding Brooke of the way their eyes had been jointly fixed on Vanessa’s hand in the room at the club, mindlessly tracing patterns into Brooke’s leg. But there was somehow more tension now, the tension only slightly more comfortable than it had been before. Less fear, but just as much caution and the question of ‘What are we doing?’ not yet obsolete.

It was Brooke who leaned in first this time with little hesitance, hand spreading out more against Vanessa’s chest, twisting delicately in her shirt. Her kisses transferred from lips, to cheek, to jaw, then placing open mouthed kisses along the shorter queen’s neck, evoking a throaty moan above her.

“C’mere,” Brooke wondered if she only imagined the rasped whisper, and she blinked back up at Vanessa, who looked desperate. Brooke noted the way her tattoo was coated red under the flush on her neck and chest, only the top of it visible from under her black T-shirt. She noted the way Vanessa’s breathing was ragged. She looked so fucked, so in disarray, and they hadn’t even taken their shirts off yet.

Brooke’s stomach knotted at just the suggestion that she had that power.

Vanessa pulled her back up, hands coming to hold the sides of Brooke’s face and kissing her with a passion that they hadn’t yet reached before. It was a kiss that guaranteed to Brooke that this wasn’t a convenient fuck, or make out, or just Vanessa feeling lonely.

“I have a flight tonight,” Brooke broke between their kiss and their gasping for breath. “God, I’d give anything to stay here. You know that, right?” She studied Vanjie’s eyes, needed to know that Vanessa understood her intentions. She’d rather do anything than have to look at the pout she looked at now on Vanessa’s face.

“You could stay. What’s one flight?” Vanessa whined, pressing kisses along Brooke’s jaw, her knee pushing between the other’s legs. “I miss you,” she breathed against Brooke’s ear, arms enveloping the taller man.

“You know it’s not that easy. This isn’t stuff we can put off, not like we put off each other. I wish I didn’t have to leave you.”

Vanessa sighed and slumped back against the wall, a hand coming up to run through her hair after the other had lifted her hat off. The broken connection between Vanessa’s flushed face and body, and her disappointed expression, broke Brooke’s heart more than she thought it would.

“That’s cool. I said what I said, and I know now that you’re not so innocent yourself, Miss Brooke Lynn, just like I said so,” Vanessa pointed a finger into Brooke’s chest accusingly, her eyes sparkling with warmth. “Who’s right again? Miss Vanessa Vanjie Isabella Mateo Hytes. Bam!” With a snap of her fingers, Vanessa pulled away from Brooke’s grasp, sliding against the wall she had been held against and back towards the door. Brooke watched her gather her things – her phone, only.

“Where are you going?”

Vanessa turned back around, puzzled. “You said you got a flight tonight. I can’t come with you.”

Brooke mimicked Vanjie’s pout from before, sitting herself down on the side of the bed and extending her arms. “You said you missed me. You made it very clear. My flight’s not until later tonight. You can stay. Until then, I mean. I want you to.”

And who was Vanessa to refuse that invitation.